Walking Like a One-Man Army,

Fighting with the Shadows in your Head…

John Mayer, “Say (What You Need To Say)” Continuum, Columbia Records, (2007)

I am not afraid to admit that I like John Mayer’s music. In fact, I love a few of his tunes, but some of my rocker friends have definitely given me shit over that. It’s alright, I still listen to some Pantera. And Frank Sinatra. But back to triathlon…

By 4:08 a.m. on race day, a Saturday, July 19, I was up and drinking coffee in my living room, getting ready to leave. I skipped the caffeine abstinence routine for this race. I was way too busy with writing projects to give up caffeine at this point. I also went to the race solo. I packed everything the night before, and by 4:30 a.m., I was leaving Laramie for a drive directly to the Boulder Reservoir. My arrival time: 6:15 a.m., with a wave start sometime between 7:30 and 7:45 a.m.

I like to listen to chill music before a race, and the John Mayer song “Say” was on my playlist. Following the song verse I quote above, I was feeling confident, like a one-man army, but at the same time, trying to manage all the shadows in my head. Things like work, being a good husband and father, not drowning or getting hit by a car. For the most part, it worked, although my swim leg was awful. Somehow, I ended up on the podium in my age group. I honestly wanted to quit for a second on the swim. I didn’t have a panic attack, but I had some irrational thoughts that ran through my head out in the water. The shadows in my head. 

I entered the sprint distance event, same as my last race. This race, the “TriBoulder,” was also on the same course as my race last month  – almost identical distances. I’ll break them down in order:

Swim distance: 750 meters. Time: 18:56. 

I didn’t do any warmup, but I don’t think it would matter (maybe it did). I was having some trouble beathing on my last couple of long swims in the pool before the race, and I got the same feeling on this swim. However, I should cut myself some slack. This was a crowded swim and right before the first turn, I swam smack into a guy who had completely stopped and was treading water. The guy was apologetic, but it did throw me off my rhythm a bit. I even floated on my back a few times, still kicking but trying to catch my breath. There was a brief second where I contemplated swimming over to one of the safety kayakers and just quitting. I was frustrated and pissed, and mildly panicked. I am so glad that I didn’t quit, as I was about to go on a strong and fun bike ride. I was finally able to finish the swim with better form, having regained my breath and composure, but my time was terrible.  My swim sucked in my last race, yet I had a better time – 17:55, over a longer distance – 800 meters.

Bike distance:  17 Miles. Time: 49:19

As bad as my swim was, the bike was a noticeable improvement over my performance from the last race, which covered the same exact route. There was some crazy traffic at a few points, particular where the shoulder narrowed a few places on the highway riding out of Boulder. In my last race, I clocked a 51:50, and this time I shaved two and half minutes off that time. I also discovered several days later that I had a flat. When I went to get on the bike five days later, my rear tire was flat as a pancake. It turns out I had a couple metal shards in the tire, so small that I needed tweezers to get them out. I don’t know where I picked them up and wonder if it affected my time at all. Probably not, since I don’t remember the tire feeling flat after the race, even when I unloaded the bike in Laramie.

Run distance: 5k. Time: 25:03

With the run, I basically maintained the same pace as the last race, although I was about 20 seconds slower. Over the same course, I ran a 24:39 last month. Neither time is exactly blazing, but in a triathlon, not a bad pace I suppose. I felt great for having continued on with the race, and I posed for the camera on the way out. By then I was having fun.

Overall time: 1:37:08

It was a slightly shorter distance, since this swim was only 750 meters v. 800 last time, again, over an otherwise identical course. My overall time last race was 1:37:23. Although my overall time was a few seconds lower this time, my pace was slower, hampered by the swim.

My transitions also sucked this race. After the swim, I couldn’t find my bike for a good bit. And then after I got off the bike, I had to turn back to get my bib number which was on my race belt. I started off running without it for about 10 seconds. Despite all of that, I ended up on the podium.

Next Race & Training Goals

To be included in the USA Triathlon (USAT) national rankings, you need to participate in three or more USAT-sanctioned triathlons in a given year. I have two races down, and I signed up for a third – the Oktoberfest Sprint. The Oktoberfest race is held at Union Reservoir, outside of Longmont, on September 21, 2025. It’s also a Mountain Collegiate Conference race, so there will be some UW students competing.

My obvious weakness right now is the swim. This last race in particular, I underperformed by my standards, which aren’t much. But a time of nearly 19 minutes over 750 meters is not going to cut it. I know I can swim faster, over a longer distance, even after getting jostled around in a crowd. For example, an Ironman swim is 3800 meters, which I did in this same place back in 2014 in 1 hour and 16 minutes. And I got kicked right in the jaw in that race. If I did an Ironman distance swim at the same pace from this last race, my time would be somewhere around 1 hour and 50 minutes. Granted, that was 11 years ago, but still, I can get much faster and the proof is there.  

So my goal for this last race is to put together a better swim. My bike and run are strong right now, but the swim is lacking. Here it is now one week after the race, I still haven’t swam since. I’ve been running and biking, but avoiding the pool. I gotta fix that.

I’m not sure why I froze up on the swim this last time, other than my training, or lack thereof. I need more open water swims, and there’s always Lake Hattie nearby, a place I enjoy swimming. The shadows in my head. I need to manage those shadows out in the open water, where I go to confront my fears. I have a couple months to train for this last race, and I’ll find myself back in the water soon. Until then, Powder River.