“Forgiving is not forgetting; it’s actually remembering — remembering and not using your right to hit back. It’s a second chance for a new beginning. And the remembering part is particularly important. Especially if you don’t want to repeat what happened.” Desmond Tutu.[1]
I had planned on doing at least three triathlons this summer. Finishing three USAT (USA Triathlon) sanctioned races is necessary to get a national ranking, and I only got one race in: the Boulder Sunrise sprint triathlon back in June. I did well, 3rd in my age group (50-54), but it looks like it’s the only triathlon that I’ll have the time and money for the rest of this year. The triathlon window is about to close around these parts for the season (which is Colorado), and I only swam today (Sept. 22) for the first time in over a month.
I last did a pool workout back on August 25, 2024, and today I did 1000 yards at the Laramie rec., mixing some pull, kick board, and drills. It felt great. There’s one more triathlon left on the calendar down in Colorado, the “Last Call” race in Loveland, at Boyd Lake State Park, this next Sunday, Sept. 29. I’d love to do it but I’m not in the shape where it’s worth it to me. Triathlons are expensive, and if I’m going to shell out the money, I need to be in better swim shape. And it’s only one race. I need two more to qualify for a national ranking.
However, I managed to get out and do one race last week, the “Memory of the 8” run up in Gillette, Wyoming. The Memory of the 8 is a run/walk that honors the eight University of Wyoming cross country runners who were killed by a drunk driver on Sept. 16, 2001. There’s a 5k race and an 8 mile race: one mile for each runner who was killed. The run is held on September 16th of each year, with the 2024 race being the 14th edition. The race was well attended this year, with hundreds of runners:
https://www.gillettenewsrecord.com/sports/local/article_a5dae0f0-76dc-11ef-a324-3388c795051b.html
The names of those runners are featured on the decal I got, pictured here:
The mother of Morgan McLeland, Debbie McLeland, lives in Gillette and is active in the running of the Memory of the 8. Years ago, shortly after the criminal case was resolved through a plea bargain, she shared her story of forgiving the driver, Clint Haskins, and it’s here online:
One comment from Debbie jumped out at me:
“Some people think that forgiveness is being disloyal to your loved one; that the only way to honour and remember them is to keep anger and bitterness in your heart, because negative emotion is so much more intense. But that doesn’t work for me. I need to get out of that place of pain and hurt. Forgiveness allows me to talk about Morgan in a positive and happy way. Forgiving Clint seems a logical step to me, as this tragic experience is something we both share. Also, he’s a kid, the same age as my son; and it’s important I remember that. Morgan wasn’t perfect, just as Clint isn’t a demon. The roles could have been reversed.“
It has been quite some time since that article was written, but it resonates. I could have been Clint Haskins too, and I am inspired by Debbie McLeland’s example of mercy. The two of them would go on to do many victim-impact panel presentations around the state.
I was able to talk to a few people after the race, although I did not seek out Debbie. The 8 miles left me drenched in sweat, and I had to get back to my hotel and get ready for an important breakfast meeting that next morning. Despite that, I do hope to speak with Debbie McLeland at some point. If you’ve been following my social media posts, you will know that I have visited Gillette in the recent past to speak with my good friend Mark Corbett about his involvement with restorative justice and forgiveness. Gillette is a town with a big heart, and I’m grateful that I was able to run for the Memory of the 8. As Desmond Tutu, the Nobel Peace Prize winner said: forgiving is about remembering, about second chances, and not repeating the past. The run for the 8 was uplifting and good for the soul, and I thought about them every mile of the way. And I’ll be back up there again, soon I’m sure. Until next time, Peace.
[1] https://labs.psychology.illinois.edu/~lyubansk/Rquote.htm